


Five Times Jim Kirk Apologized

by ERNest



Category: Star Trek: The Original Series
Genre: Apologies, Canon Compliant, Gen, death mention, respect
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-09
Updated: 2017-09-09
Packaged: 2018-12-25 13:39:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 607
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12037032
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ERNest/pseuds/ERNest
Summary: Everyone makes mistakes, but one of the worst is to pretend that none of them mattered. Jim apologizes.





	Five Times Jim Kirk Apologized

**i. classmate**  
     He knew this was only one group project out of hundreds, but Jim had looked forward to designing a starship ever since the unit began, and he needed everything to be perfect.

     “Oh come _on_ , anyone can see the engines won’t work there! Where’s the thrust coming from, huh!?”

     “Now Jimmy,” his mother called, “what have I told you about keeping your temper?”

     “Right,” he muttered, already feeling a flush creep up his neck. “Sorry, Eli. How ‘bout we get some lemonade and then we can figure out how we’ll make it work?”

     “Whatever, said Eli, and Jim wondered why he even bothered.

 

**ii. professor**  
     Professor Kirk was one of the only instructors who still used a dry erase board instead of a touchscreen, and he said it was full of old school flair that meant answers might be hiding in the stray marks. He even would have used a blackboard if antiques like that weren’t so expensive.

     Now he smacked it with the palm of his hand. “No, no, no! This isn’t a game! When you’re out there in the silence of space with nothing but your wits, someone’s _life_ may depend on what you’re learning now, and you’re all treating it like nothing!”

     He didn’t realize how loud he’d been talking until he was left with a ringing in his head and three rows of startled undergrads staring up at him.

     So he simply said. “Please. Try to understand that it’s not just in my lecture hall that you’ll – what was the phrase again?” He grinned and felt the tension ease. “Ah yes, ‘think or sink.’ Now for next Tuesday I expect you to complete all the odd questions on page 415. Class dismissed.”

 

**iii. captain**

     As “Kathleen” blared over the intercom for the sixteenth “one more time!” and ground against the language centers of his brain where he usually stored the War Poets, Jim knew that he was definitely losing his mind.

     “At least _try_ cutting him off!” he half growled to his communications officer.

     “Sir, if I could cut him off, don’t you think I–” He felt rather than heard the gasp as Lieutenant Uhura realized she’d talked back to the captain, and another line of that dreadful song offered just enough delay to keep him from snapping that they were _all_ on edge. “Yes, sir. I’ll keep trying.”

     He stepped out of her space, looked her in the eye, and told her, “Sorry.” He took care not to mumble or look away because it was his job to shoulder responsibility, and the brief smile she gave him reassured him that they understood each other.

 

**iv. patient**  
     “Dammit, Jim, I thought we’d lost you!” was the first thing he heard when he finally regained consciousness, and he’d never been so happy to hear such a grumpy voice.

     “Ah, too bad,” he quipped, “I could have used the rest.” Bones blanched so quickly that he knew he’d made a major misstep. “Too soon?”

     “Oh Jim, you’re not out of the woods yet. What do you think will happen to _all_ of us the day I can’t patch you up?”

     He took a breath. “Alright.” He released it. “I’ll be careful.”

 

**v. friend**  
     “Of all the souls I have encountered in my travels, his was the most…”

     The lump in his throat wouldn’t go away no matter how many times he swallowed. Why couldn’t, for once, the needs of the one have outweighed the needs of the many?

“…human,” he finally finished. If there was anything left of his friend in the universe, Spock would understand that what he meant was _forgive me_.


End file.
